He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
