Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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