No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
