WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
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she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
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Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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