marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
