it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
