I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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