Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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