DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
