Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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