I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
