You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
