Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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