You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
