I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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