I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
