this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
