Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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