feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
