i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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