I can't breathe out the right side of my face
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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