Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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