He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
