if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we're making bets on your personal life
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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