Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
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