I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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