I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
