My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i out mim tonsoeep
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