i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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