she smelled like a LAN party
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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