I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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