girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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