Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
