I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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