So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
