I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
