CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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