Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
