remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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