i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
All I want is dick and wine.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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