They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
