Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
