Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
