your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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