1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize