i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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