just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
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well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
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I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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