I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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