I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just found puke in my bra..
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
