She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
