me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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