Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
