life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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