one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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