remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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