It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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