i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
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