I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
