also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Quick, to the slutcave!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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