I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
