We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
When are your genitals available?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
