She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
