sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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