she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
