Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm getting married
To pizza
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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