He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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