This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just found a bag of teeth...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
