I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
