you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize